A Pebble, And What It Reminded Me Of

There is a recently built boardwalk that goes partway around a neighboring apartment complex.  It's really not all that long but it's woodsy and shady, and along much of its length it's hard to believe it actually borders a busy road on one side, separated only by its height, and by huge highrise blocks on the other.  I like to stroll down it when I feel like taking a mini-nature walk, taking in the leafy sights and smells and just enjoying the vibe.

Then the other day my eyes alighted on something that hadn't been there before.  Someone had placed a pebble on top of the brick parapet.

Its placement there was certainly not random, not the result of an accident -- it had to have been deliberately placed there by someone, someone who I think understands the preciousness inherent in the action of taking an ordinary something, even a less-than-ordinary something, that would have been overlooked or noticed but immediately ignored, and imbuing it with emotional importance by the very act of treating it as important.  I would be quite annoyed if I were to witness someone carelessly flick it away as ordinary litter, not understanding that it represents someone's act of devotion.

I stood there looking at it for some time, and it put me in a state of... a kind of poetic melancholy or reverie I guess you could call it, if you had to give it a name.  And now that I'm looking at these images again, I am reminded of other times I have felt something relatable to it -- especially of this one particular occasion years ago, not long after I started this blog.

Some other related posts:  The Beautiful Secret Language...                                             Beauty II                                                                                   One Unusual Night

A Drizzly Day In Hongdae

I took this photo this afternoon in the Hong'ik University neighborhood (the origin of the name Hongdae).  When I looked at the downloaded image I was immediately struck by its visual similarity to another shot that I took a few years ago (check the reference below).  But that earlier image was quite different in feel;  it was intended to exploit the ominous, dystopian anxiety of being alone in the midst of an anomalously empty urban environment (wow, I so can wax poetic sometimes), but this new image was definitely in a different category.  So I decided to emphasize that difference by modifying it with various editing tools, running it through filters, etc.  The result is a page out of an imaginary picture book dedicated to nostalgia, longing, and faded memories that will die with me.

Related posts:  A Bit Eerie,  Nostalgia,  Two Skies

"Downstream"

A glimpse of that melancholy "Ending of the Day" feeling.

Or perhaps remembering the "Last Evening of the World".

Coming Home

I was just ascending the steps to the lobby when I caught sight of this shadow of myself, created by some indirect source behind me. 

It's another one of those images that mysteriously put me in a wistful and somewhat melancholy frame of mind.  

Well, perhaps in this case I can venture a guess as to one possible reason:  the backwards ballcap, the t-shirt, the knee shorts and the silhouette lacking features -- all conspired to erase age and make my shadow-self appear like the kid I have not been in many, many years.  Kind of like Miyazaki's "Howl's Moving Castle" in reverse.  But unlike the title of this post, I can never go home again.

Suddenly Sad

I took this shot as a lark.  I happened to pass by the guard shack at my building (not as ominous as it sounds -- the "guards" are mostly retired old men who are more like groundskeepers than security personnel), saw the shadow of its roof and thought my hand sticking out of it would be kind of funny.

But when I opened the image for editing it struck an unexpected chord ;  the hand looked like a desperate appeal for help, or perhaps a melancholy reaching-out for a response, any response...

I guess it's just a matter of your state of mind at the time you see the image, but I'm reminded of Goya's lonely dog.

 

In A Somber Mood

Yet another image that reminds me of the "Isle of the Dead" paintings by Böcklin. 

Vanitas

"VANITY... ALL IS VANITY"

Nostalgia

FOR SOMETHING THAT NEVER WAS

Does anyone else ever feel like this?  Wistful, melancholy, and kinda sorta sad and longing for something, but not quite knowing what it is that you miss.  

In Korean folklore, a human being (and also our beloved pets like dogs and cats) is a star that came down from heaven and became embodied on Earth.  When the body dies we go back to the sky and take our place among the stars again.  You might say that when we feel a vague longing without knowing the cause, it's our soul longing for our old home in the heavens.

EDIT:  Someone told me that the musical style of Japanese composer Joe Hisaishi (born Mamoru Fujisawa), longtime collaborator of animation director Hayao Miyazaki, has been described as making one "nostalgic for things that never were".  Come to think, that description really does fit much of his music. 

Related post:  I-Witness: 2 Angels

Two Skies

This is one of my all-time favorite shots.  It's lovely, but also at the same time it's melancholy and poignant and saddening - because it's all about longing for the impossible.

Don't, shadow bird!  If you fly beyond the edge, you'll disappear.

Melancholia V

Related Post:  Melancholia IV

August Evening, And Repeat

Another picture taken during the 'magic hour' interval of the evening.

EDIT:  How surprising and amusing is this -- two days after uploading this photo I realized I had posted a nearly identical photo two years previously, in 2011 -- also dated September 13!  Reminds me of the time I experienced an unusually prolonged and fully conscious hypnagogic hallucination, then while writing it down in my dream journal realized that it happened on the one-year anniversary of my first fully conscious lucid dream.

Related post:  Magic Hour

Night Flight

This photo was originally posted on July 17, 2011.  I accidentally deleted it a little while ago, so I am uploading it again here.  Just as well -- now it's right next to its 'companion piece', Plane Flying Below The Sun.

Melancholia III

As Above, So Below (AKA No Coincidence)

THE MYSTERY, MELANCHOLY, MYTH AND MIRTH OF A STREET

I was looking at the Moon when a car sped past, stirring the air --

At the distance of the Earth-Moon system, the Sun's rays are parallel.

Ut Supra, Sic Infra.

Magic Hour Moon

My favorite time of day -- as the shadows begin to deepen and the lights to stand out, the world enters an all-too-brief inbetween period when the day that is passing and the night that is foreshadowed are intermingled, and the deep gold of the setting sun and the violet of the darkening sky imbue even the most ordinary sights with a mysterious, nostalgic aspect that hints at a world unseen.

Makes me feel like jumping for joy, and yet at the same time I feel myself on the verge of shedding tears of longing for something I cannot remember.

Edit:  Hmm, 'tears of longing' sounds familiar...

Again, Some Old Art

MERMAIDS, TOO, DIE

I did this one a long time ago. It reflects a continuing fascination with mermaids since childhood, crossed with a grownup melancholy. I wish I hadn't sold it -- I think this and 'The Flying Fish' are the most personally meaningful and best-executed pieces I've ever done -- with the possible exception of 'Avidya' (here and here, among others); but at least I know who has this one.

The gallery where I showed this piece was named Simard & Halm after the the gay couple who owned it, and the owners themselves purchased it.  Later, at a party at their house, I happened to pipe up to Simard (he was a cardiologist from Canada;  Halm was a natty Korean-American, but I forget what he did for a living -- I think he was a lawyer?, but don't bet the farm) that I really missed this piece and hoped to some day buy it back from them.  And Simard said "You'll never be rich enough to buy it back from me -- I love this piece."

And thank you, Daryl Hannah.