#1: "HE SQUIRMED LIKE HE HAD A PAIR OF SNAKES MATING IN HIS POCKET"
Today I was talking to someone at work, and our friend and colleague S.H. came up in the conversation. It so happens that S.H. walks really, really fast. He pretty much powerwalks everywhere he goes. And I don't know what prompted me, but I found myself spontaneously saying "He charges along like he's got two angry horses inside of him".
Interesting. I kept thinking about that sentence, and eventually it dawned on me that it's not just a single, static phrase but a general descriptive formula with animals and locations as the variable terms. Consider the following applications:
"She couldn't have been more distracted if she'd had a pair of bickering squirrels under her hat";
"He snores like he's channeling two drunk elephants";
"She hustled and bustled like she'd got a pair of chihuahuas on diet pills inside of her"
And so on.
#2: "HE LOOKS LIKE A HAIRY BOULDER NOW"
I was talking to R., another colleague, and a certain celebrity's name came up. This celeb is a veteran actor who is as well known around Hollywood for his strong political convictions and activist spirit as for his acting. Not to take anything away from his acting prowess, as he is a wonderful actor, but I'm certain his very solid, formidable appearance has been a valuable asset to him in his career. And since he's also been an actor longer than most of us have been alive, I found myself saying "He looks like a hairy boulder now".
More posts like this: #1, #2, #3, #4